One Year Ago

One year ago today I was preparing for surgery for my breast cancer.

One year later I am a survivor!

I could not have made the journey without great family and friends. Thank you to all of you for supporting me during my journey. I know that it was not easy for you, but you were always there for me and I would not be a survivor without the loving support from each and everyone of you.

It is hard to believe that one year ago I was facing this battle. Looking back it seems so easy although at times I wondered if I was strong enough to make it.  Now I know that anything is possible if you just set your mind to it.

To all my friends who are still battling the "C" word, I am there for you and I wish you a full recovery. It is possible if you believe it can happen.

Doctor Appointment

Had a doctor appointment today to check things out and see how everything is going. My last mammogram that I had in April was clean! They only checked the breast that had the breast cancer in it. My next mammogram appointment is October 11th where they will check both. I am very optimistic that will return a good result as well.

I am feeling much better with my energy level returning to near normal. The Tamoxifen that I am taking causes joint aches sometimes very bad joint aches. The doctor says to hang in there for two years and then they will likely switch me to another drug providing my ovaries don't wake up and start producing more hormones.

I am hoping they stay asleep and I can move on with the next phase of my life. A life after cancer that will be so much better than before. It is amazing what a health scare can do for you. You suddenly realize that tomorrow is not a promise so you live more in the moment. It is unfortunate that it took this wake up call to make me realize just how fragile life is and how quickly things can change.

I appreciate the little things in life now. Like this morning, waking up and smelling the crispness of the air as autumn approaches. I love autumn it is one of my favorite seasons! It was a year ago this month that I was diagnosed and a year ago on my birthday that I had surgery.

I have learned so much from my journey. I would encourage anyone going through cancer treatment to keep your sense of humor and appreciate the good days. It does and can get better!

And by the way I now have the hair back that I dreaded losing! Life is good.

Wow what a whirlwind

So the Effexor did not work out really well for me. I ended up blacking out and gashing my eyebrow which required 15 stitches. While I was taking this "anti depressant" all I wanted to do was sleep. I did not want to go out or do anything. I always felt dizzy and not myself. After the emergency room visit for stitches I dumped the remaining pills down the toilet and vowed never to take them again. I have felt better than while I was on the pill that was supposed to make me feel better. Go figure-sometimes a pill does not always help.

The only thing that I am having difficulty with are the hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings. This menopause stuff is not for wimps! Since I cannot take anything that says it helps with menopause because of the breast cancer liking hormones I am stuck! I have been using flax which I hear will help eventually.

The best thing is that I had my six month mammogram on April 8th and it was CLEAR! That did a lot to set my mind at ease. The thing with this diagnosis is that no matter how hard you try to not think about it coming back it seems to be the only thing you think about. I am trying so hard not to let this horrible disease define my life or who I am but sometimes find myself being sucked into the darkness. The first thought in my mind when I blacked out was that maybe it had spread to my brain. Not a good thing considering that most of my brain is full and seems to work at 1/4 of its capacity; so it would have a really hard time with things if it were to be invaded by cancer.

The next best thing is that my hair is growing back! I will try and post pictures if I can get my daughter to take them. Amazingly the color is not the same as before. It is coming in with a lot of blond, that is my story anyway. My family says it looks like gray, I say it is distinguished like Jay's. 

I cannot help but feel very emotional about the women who have gone ahead of me and forged these treatment options available today. They were experimental beings and a lot of them did not make it out alive. I am grateful for their sacrifices. I can only hope that what I am going through will help find a cure for this disease that still takes way too many lives away.

Tamoxifen and Stuff

The doctor convinced me that I need to take this drug in order to raise my chance that I will not get breast cancer again. We will see how this goes. I have taken it for two days and I have felt nauseous and "not myself". Not sure if I want to live with these side effects. I am hoping that they will go away after I get used to the drug. Not sure if Tamoxifen is the reason or if the switch to a different anti-depressant could be playing into this. I can't take Wellbutrin anymore due to the the interaction with Tamoxifen, so I am taking Effexor as my new drug.

I do know that I will give up the anti-depressant before I give up Tamoxifen. I started taking Wellbutrin to quit smoking and I decided to keep taking it because I felt as though I was a better person when taking it. Who knows if I actually need this. I still have days where I don't feel like getting out of bed; however I know that I will feel better if I do so I get up and try to accomplish something during the day.

I took my sister and her family to the airport today. They are going on a Caribbean cruise for a week, along with some friends. I was supposed to go, in fact I had the deposit paid. And then I found out that I had breast cancer and reluctantly decided that perhaps it was not the best timing to be taking a trip. I was going to be done with treatment, but who wants to go on a great trip like that with no energy and no hair? Certainly not me. I know that I have disappointed many people, but none more than myself. I hope that everyone has a great time and takes a lot of pictures so that I can live vicariously through them when they return. Hopefully there will be another trip at a later date with all of my family and friends.

Radiation Done Chemo Done!

Well I am through the worst part of the treatment!
Tommorrow I see the medical oncologist to discuss Tamoxifen. It is the standard treatment after chemo and radiation to give me a better chance that the cancer will not return. I have been reading the side effects and talking to a very good friend who is taking the drug. She says that it makes her feel icky.

Among the side effects listed

•  Hot flashes -- in up to 80 percent of people

• Vaginal discharge -- up to 50 percent
• Water retention -- up to 32 percent
• Nausea -- up to 26 percent
• Irregular menstrual periods -- up to 25 percent
• Weight loss -- up to 23 percent
• Vaginal bleeding -- up to 23 percent. 
• Bone pain
• Back pain
• Headaches
• Cough
• High cholesterol 
• Fatigue
• Muscle pain
• Ovarian cysts
• Skin changes
• Infection
• Indigestion or heartburn
• Insomnia 
• Constipation or diarrhea
• Anemia
• Weight gain 
• Mood changes
• Hair loss 

While all of these sound like a lot of fun, I am not sure that I want to have any of these side effects.
We will see if my doctor can convince me that the benefit outweighs the side effects.

ONE MORE RADIATION TO GO!

YES!! I can finally see the end of the treatment stage. Now we go into the watching, checking and making sure the cancer does not come back stage. I think that will be a little easier. I am feeling tired and run down and some days I do not want to get out of bed. I make myself because I know that what I am going through is nothing compared to what others are going through.

I still have the appointment one week after the end of radiation with the medical oncologist. That is when we will be starting Tamoxifen (hormone blocking drug). I know that I have followed all of the professional advise I have gotten and can only hope that this will keep the cancer from coming back. It is a little scary when you have a lymph node involved, especially since the tumor itself was not that large.

I will be getting another mammogram sometime in March or April to get yet another baseline after surgery and treatment.

Almost Done!

I have three more radiation treatments. They will not end on Monday like I had planned because they are closed for Presidents Day. But Tuesday will be my last day of driving to IMC every day for treatment.

I will be glad to be done and get back to normal whatever that is. It has been so long I don't remember.
I will be seeing my medical oncologist one week after my last treatment. This is to put me on Tamoxifen a hormone blocker. This will supposedly give me better odds that the cancer will not return.

I imagine that I will be having another mammogram soon since I have to get one every 6 months for 2 years.

If all of the treatments have not killed the cancer in my body I don't know what will.