Wow what a whirlwind

So the Effexor did not work out really well for me. I ended up blacking out and gashing my eyebrow which required 15 stitches. While I was taking this "anti depressant" all I wanted to do was sleep. I did not want to go out or do anything. I always felt dizzy and not myself. After the emergency room visit for stitches I dumped the remaining pills down the toilet and vowed never to take them again. I have felt better than while I was on the pill that was supposed to make me feel better. Go figure-sometimes a pill does not always help.

The only thing that I am having difficulty with are the hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings. This menopause stuff is not for wimps! Since I cannot take anything that says it helps with menopause because of the breast cancer liking hormones I am stuck! I have been using flax which I hear will help eventually.

The best thing is that I had my six month mammogram on April 8th and it was CLEAR! That did a lot to set my mind at ease. The thing with this diagnosis is that no matter how hard you try to not think about it coming back it seems to be the only thing you think about. I am trying so hard not to let this horrible disease define my life or who I am but sometimes find myself being sucked into the darkness. The first thought in my mind when I blacked out was that maybe it had spread to my brain. Not a good thing considering that most of my brain is full and seems to work at 1/4 of its capacity; so it would have a really hard time with things if it were to be invaded by cancer.

The next best thing is that my hair is growing back! I will try and post pictures if I can get my daughter to take them. Amazingly the color is not the same as before. It is coming in with a lot of blond, that is my story anyway. My family says it looks like gray, I say it is distinguished like Jay's. 

I cannot help but feel very emotional about the women who have gone ahead of me and forged these treatment options available today. They were experimental beings and a lot of them did not make it out alive. I am grateful for their sacrifices. I can only hope that what I am going through will help find a cure for this disease that still takes way too many lives away.